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Why I love Twitter

It’s almost time for bed and I really should get some more work in tonight, but in the rare moment that Twitter is functional, I have to laugh at some tweets that I have favorited. Looking at them not in context (although many of them were pretty random to begin with), they crack my shit up:

“Infant toys don’t play Pachelbel’s Canon so much as repeatedly shit it.” – hotdogsladies

“Sometimes when I talk to a Windows person about using a Mac, I feel like I’m explaining Van Halen to a horse.” – hotdogsladies

“I wonder if it would be possible to put a platypus in a sweater.” – newscoma

“Is it still a ‘martini’ if it’s made from Kahlua and zesty ranch dressing? Bennigan’s says yes but my heart says fuck you I quit.” – fireland

“So I drank some Aveda Rosemary Mint Conditioner on accident, thinking it was a smoothie? First off, YUM. Also? My stache is hella luxurious.” – fireland

“If my feline were part of the grassroots, I would buy A LOT more carpet cleaner!” – Klinde

“I just accidentally glued the cat to just about the worst possible place on my body. This scrapbooking thing is NOT for amateurs, you guys.” – fireland

“Who said Q-tips were just for ear-holes? How about a little less calling the police and a little more high-fiving my dedication to hygiene.” – fireland

“God enables comments on Genesis: “1. First!” “2. Snake looks fake” “3. Abraham ram = teh lame” “4. LOLCains” “5. Friend me, Creator of man!” – hotdogsladies

“I love warm dark nights after 2:00am. It’s like a secret planet only I am on. Well, I and my crippled gay dog.” – mycropht

“Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit amphetamines” – jagadiah

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Rush Limbaugh is an idiot

I’m sure you already knew that, but I’m not talking his right-wing wacko leanings today, folks. I’m talking about his lame-ass plea to Steve Jobs to help him with some issues (which he didn’t name in his original plea, but has now said what two issues–two very common issues, actually, that he could most likely solve if he, I don’t know, DID SOME RESEARCH. Or talked to Apple support like any other NORMAL human being would do. It’s not like he had tried and tried to get help and was ignored.)

So it’s not so much the fact that Limbaugh thinks he’s so important that when he has a problem he can just expect Steve Jobs to respond to him (and seriously, when is the last time you had a problem with Windows–ok, if you use it then you probably had a problem 5 mins. ago–and expected Bill Gates to even know how to fix it? Got car trouble? Why, call on the CEO of course!) that bugs me. It’s the bullshitting he does in his plea.

For example:

“You know, I’m a big Mac guy. I love Macs, and I’ve got four Mac Pros. They’re the top-of-the-line Mac Pros, maxed out…”  

Seriously? Because when a Mac Pro is actually “maxed out,” it costs roughly $24,000. So Limbaugh has four $24,000 machines for personal use? He spent about $100,000 on these machines and his sales rep/Apple store/wherever-the-fudge-he-bought-them is just ignoring him? Really? Because when I worked for Apple, we helped people who didn’t even buy their machines from us. FOR FREE.

But then I read this, which clinched my thinking that he’s just making shit up:

“I just ordered six brand-new Mac Pros: four for me and two as gifts; maxed out, Blu-ray drives.”  

Yeah, you know what? Mac Pros don’t come with a Blu-ray drive option. Check the Web site, Rush. And if yours showed up with them, then you obviously didn’t get them from Apple. So I hope you got someone really good to fuck around with and add blu-ray to your four $24,000 machines, jackass. Maybe you should ask them what else they tinkered with.

If Steve Jobs does reply, I hope it’s to tell Limbaugh to stick his microphone up his weathered old ass. Oh, wait. Steve did respond.

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Office Halloween Costume Contest Participants

 

Office Halloween Costume Contest Participants

Office Halloween Costume Contest Participants

Originally uploaded by Megan_G.

I was the crazy cat lady, coming in second in our office contest (I lost to Count Chocula.) This whole day was more proof that I work with some of the most awesome people around. Seriously, did YOUR office dress up like this??

See the rest of the pics from today at my Flickr page 

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What kind of a sick joke is Google playing on these people?

Under “incoming links,” WordPress is telling me that something called Google Alerts – Church links to my blog quite often.

I hope no one from whatever that is actually clicks through to my blog, because they’re going to be sadly disappointed (and maybe offended?) when they realize I mostly lambaste church.

And by church, I mean Christianity.

Sorry, wrong number.

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Um, what?

Just a few of the search terms leading people to my blog:

  • what does jelly taste like
  • what can I smoke with things I got at home
  • still dizzy from ride

Don’t know which posts these search terms led to, but I’d love to be able to find out. Anyone know of a (free) way?

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Is this the best you can do?

Dear WKRN,

In response to your recent post titled The New NashvilleIsTalking, I’d like to draw your attention to one sentence on the form that the post links to, which states:

“NashvilleIsTalking (NIT) has always been about the local blogging community and always will be”

Oh, hell no. That’s not what you’re doing lately, dudes.

When Brittney resigned from NiT, I understand that it probably took you a bit by surprise. You were lucky to get Kat Coble to voluntarily pick up the slack temporarily, and I again understand that after she moved on it was probably hard to find full-time volunteers to post to the site. You were again lucky to get Newscoma and lcreekmo for a weekend, and I think a few other good ‘uns after that. I did enjoy seeing what trouble Nemesis Girl would stir up, though I don’t know how many others would agree with me there.

But now I feel like NiT is sliding down a slippery slope into total ridiculousness. It’s lost its vision, and you don’t really seem to give a damn.

So I have to ask: What the hell is going on with these William and Birdwhistell people?!

Is this honestly the best that you can do?

I know you’re probably just trying to make sure that someone is posting to the site on a regular basis, but let me suggest that if you are going to continue to allow these folks to post under the Nashville Is Talking name, at least set some guidelines for them. Not that you asked, but the No. 1 rule I would suggest is, I don’t know, maybe POST SOME INFORMATION RELEVANT TO THE COMMUNITY AND LINK TO SOME NASHVILLE BLOGS?!

I don’t know who this Birdwhistell person is, but I got an e-mail from him to join Nashtown.com. Looking at the site, it appears he likes going to clubs and taking pictures of scantily clad women around town. Great, good for him. Why the hell I’d want to join, no idea. That’s not really my bag. But thanks for the invite, dude.

The bigger question is why the hell is he guest blogging on NiT? An entire post of his was devoted to running into an ex in San Francisco and trying to hide from her by looking upward. Greaaaat, man, awesome idea. But why is this on NiT and not your personal blog?

OH–that’s right! You think NiT is your personal blog. My bad.

Now, onto the next one. For the record, I consider myself liberal and find it mildly amusing that William starts off most days posting links to random national Web sites with news about how George W. Bush is an asshat or how the GOP is fucking themselves. That’s great; glad to hear it.

Except… that’s not what this site is for, right? I thought it was a gathering place for all blogs NASHVILLE. It’s not CNN Is Talking, Fox News Is Talking, The Wall Street Journal Is Talking. (Or is it?)

If William would just spend 10-20 minutes or so looking around the Nashville blogs, I bet he’d find someone IN NASHVILLE talking about this stuff and be able to link to them instead of these national sites. I’ve seen him do it once or twice before by linking to Southern Beale, so I know he’s capable. I have faith in him! And in his pink flowery tea cups!

I can respect that times are rough and guest bloggers–presumably working for free–are hard to come by. But are these two the best you can do? Could you not find anyone who would adhere to what I, and I’m sure other locals, thought the site’s mission was: To link to Nashville-area blogs and provide a glimpse into what the community is talking about? Did you even give these two tools any guidelines? Ask them nicely? Or did you just hand them the keys and say, “Fuck it up however you’d like, boys!”?

Are you trying to alienate the community Brittney worked so hard to build? Are you trying to fail? Or does it just come naturally?

Please, for the love of whatever you deem holy, keep it relevant. And if Nashville Is Talking has become William and Birdwhistell Are Talking, the least you can do is adjust the site’s flag accordingly.

Hugs,

Megan

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I could never be a Simpson

Ian’s avatar turned out much better, even though he looks like he’s 12. But that’s better than looking like a 40-year-old shemale, which is what mine looks like.
I could never be a SimpsonI could never be a Simpson

You just can’t accurately animate awesomeness like us, I guess.

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Planning ahead

Ian: Hey, the world is going to end Dec. 21, 2012. I just saw it on the History Channel.

Me: Really? What time?

Ian: Uh, I don’t know.

Me: What day of the week is that?

Ian (exasperated): What? I don’t know! Do you have a meeting that day or something?? Fuck!

We look it up. The world will end Friday, Dec. 21, 2012 at 6 a.m.

Me: I should go ahead and ask for the day off work.

Ian: Yeah, good idea.

 

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The hippies are coming

At my exit off I-24 today, I saw it. The sign. The sign warning of snarled traffic on I-24 starting Thursday and going until Monday (I think. I was going fast when I passed it.)

It has begun.

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I'm sorry—WHAT?

Read the fifth comment on this post.

If you can tell what the HELL this person is talking about, please let me know. I almost marked it as spam, which it basically is (to me, at least), but the pure hilarity of it, and the desire to know WTF is going on with it, is telling me to keep it live for now.

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