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Let's just run with the idea

by on February 12, 2009, in blogging, jump aboard the crazy train, memes, stupid assholes, writing

So today I was thinking some more about the whole “I don’t want to read 25 things about my friends because my friends are all boring assholes that suck” reaction that Claire Suddath (and some other people) had to the Facebook meme.

I also thought a little bit about how, when I hear people say stupid shit, I have a tendency to blog about it out of spite. Well, not really spite. More because I feel like if you’re going to say or do something stupid, I’m going to call you out on it. Most of the time.

And then I thought about how I really haven’t been blogging much lately.

Hmm… there has to be some way I can meld those two things together…

Oh, I’ve got it!

I’m going to try to blog every day at least three times a week—each post being an entry in a new and ongoing 25 Things About Me list. I will try not to repeat things I have said before, too. (“Try” being the operative word here. I’m really not all that interesting.)

So to start things off, why don’t I just toot my own horn a little. Don’t worry, I’m sure there will be plenty of self-deprecation to come:

No. 1: I can be obsessive about sentence structure. Give me some sentences that are super short or don’t flow right or maybe don’t make any damn sense at all and I will try my damnest to magically fix them up into a glorious string of sensical words that are super easy to read. I feel that this is a strength of mine. (Obviously, or I wouldn’t be freaking telling you guys.)

Sometimes I sit down to write and the words just flow like holy water from my brain, through my fingers, onto the keyboard and into a story. But most of the time I jot down a bunch of thoughts as I comb through notes and then go back later to make them make sense.

I realize this admission is inviting you to comb through this blog and find an assload of sentences that have slang, are partially or poorly formed, or don’t really seem to make much sense. But that’s intentional—it’s in accordance with the style in which I write on this here blog. This is where I come to vomit up whatever is on my mind, not worry about how easy it is for people to read.

But professionally? I can form the shit out of a sentence.

Comments { 7 }

Because I believe oversharing is the key

by on February 10, 2009, in blogging, Internet, jump aboard the crazy train, memes, waxing creative

I recently came across a Time.com article dissing the recent Facebook 25 Things meme in which people post a note with, you guessed it, 25 random things about themselves.

“But it’s just so stupid,” whines the article’s author, Claire Suddath (I can’t help but wonder if this is the same whiny Claire Suddath who wrote for the Nashville Scene years ago).

What’s stupid, actually, is joining a giant social network like Facebook and then bitching about learning random, pointless pieces of data about your “friends.”

I wonder if Claire holds her real-life friends to the same “Only speak to me when you have something that I am sure to deem interesting” standards.

Personally, I love oversharing. I have a blog, obviously. And a Twitter account. And a Facebook account. And there’s not much I won’t tell you about myself if you just ask. Granted there are personal pieces of information I don’t just offer up online (the interwebs are full of weirdos, after all), but when it comes to the random, weird or mundane, I’m an open book.

This short post by the astute Brittney Gilbert hits the nail on the head.

Though the rewards might be few and far between, there is something to be said for sharing bits and pieces of yourself with the world. And getting glimpses into others’ lives—glimpses that you would never, ever be privy to if you were limited to phone or in-person conversations because there are always certain things that individuals will reveal about themselves only in writing. And if you bother to read between the lines of the mundane, random or weird, you’ll see that even at our most boring we all have shades of intrigue.

It’s a shame Claire Suddath is missing out on that.

Comments { 9 }

Self-imposed writer's block

by on November 23, 2008, in blogging, jump aboard the crazy train, life etc.

There’s been a lot going on lately, but it’s not really anything I feel like I can blog about. I hate that feeling, but I would hate the consequences of not censoring myself more, so for once in my life I’m shutting my mouth.

The last week has been painful, but I know it could have been way more painful, and I am hoping the pain is paving the way to something healthier. All I can say is thank the little baby Jebus Claus for Ian and my cats. They’ve listened to a lot of crying and kvetching out of me lately and have been great comforters. (See also: alcohol.)

I always hate reading cryptic shit on other people’s blogs, so I apologize if I’m pissing you off here. Normal crabby-about-the-world posting should resume shortly.

Comments { 2 }

Live blogging the last 2008 presidential debate

by on October 15, 2008, in blogging, news/politics

Well, I wasn’t going to live blog this because I was planning on staying sober, but honestly McCain looks so damn uncomfortable that it’s making ME cringe. So let me grab a beer and get caught up on this shizzfest. (Basically I’m going to tweet and blog at the same time. So if you follow me both places, get ready for redundancy. Sorry in advance.)

8:13 p.m. Wait is Joe the Plumber like the plumbers that I know? Because then he makes $100/hr. I don’t think he’s hurting.

8:14 p.m. Ian says he thinks McCain just had a stroke. And that he must have gas because he looks really uncomfortable.

8:15 p.m. WHY DO THEY KEEP BRINGING UP IRELAND? WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT IRELAND? I mean, I do, but not for election reasons.

8:17 p.m. HAHAHA McCain can speak to the Great Depression BECAUSE HE WAS ALIVE DURING IT!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA

8:18 p.m. Hahaha I think McCain just forgot the question. Twice he’s had to be reminded to answer the damn question. But in his defense, it takes a long time to reach back in a brain that was born before the Great Depression.

8:20 p.m. OMG seriously why does McCain keep sneering and laughing at Obama? Did he just make a stinky in his diaper?

8:21 p.m. OH SNAP! McCain is letting his disrespect and irritation toward Obama show loud and clear. As long as he maintains his train of thought, that is.

8:22 p.m. How does a man with 12 houses know how Americans are angry and hurting?

8:23 p.m. This would be a great, great time for Obama to say, “I’m a maverick, too! [redacted]”

8:25 p.m. Yes, yes, we all know you have hundreds of years of experience, McCain.

8:26 p.m. Wait the man who wanted to BACK OUT of the last debate is now chastising Obama for not wanting to have more debates?

8:27 p.m. Who cut McCain and gave him his scars? WHO? Bush? Cheney!! I bet it was Cheney.

8:28 p.m. OMG IS HE CRYING? No wait, it’s just old man drippy-eye.

8:28 p.m. Ok that’s it. I’m drinking every time McCain speaks. Sorry people I work with, I’m going to look rough tomorrow.

8:32 p.m. AHA! YES! That’s right McCain’s supporters are yelling to kill Obama. THAT is not cool and I’m glad Obama brought that shit up.

8:33 p.m. McCain is really uncomfortable.

8:33 p.m. He’s proud of the people who come to their rallies? Why would you say that right after you guys were talking about the people who scream to kill Obama and that he’s a terrorist.

8:35 p.m. Both these dudes are left-handed. Siniestra. Is Ron Paul left-handed, too? Ian says they would be the left-handed triple beast if so.

8:36 p.m. Thank Jebus Obama is clarifying his relationship with William Ayers. Since McCain just said they’d have to “review his relationship” with him to know if he (obama?) is really a terrorist. WTF??

8:37 p.m. Is McCain really going there? Is he really trying to “prove” Obama is a terrorist? Do people really think that?

8:39 p.m. Dick Lugar teehee

8:40 p.m. Wait, so in one breath McCain went from “Obama is a terrorist” to “I’m not going to raise taxes”? In the same sentence?

8:41 p.m. Just say it, Obama. You picked Biden for VP because HE IS NOT A FUCKING RETARD FROM ALASKA he is awesome. Or something.

8:43 p.m. Sarah Palin cut the size of government? Is that what we’re calling “unethical firing” nowadays? Oh wait—so Democrats can’t touch Palin’s family but McCain can parade them around on a stick?

8:44 p.m. Why does McCain keep bringing up how tough Palin’s husband is? Is that a clause in the paperwork? He has to mention the size of Todd’s dick every time he mentions how great Sarah is? Or does he mention it because he wants to jab at Biden’s wife dying?

8:48 p.m. Do people really think there is such a thing as clean coal?

8:49 p.m. Oh I thought he was going to say “Tell the oil companies to fuck off.”

8:50 p.m. Why is nobody mentioning that we need to tell the EPA to require auto manufacturers to require all vehicles to be fuel efficient? 40 mpg or better? We’ve had the technology for YEARS. Force the automakers to start being more responsible. If people can only buy fuel-efficient vehicles, they will. BAM. Problem… made kind of better. Eh? Megan for president?

8:52 p.m. Hahahaha McCain talking about drugs? Sure McCain is a free-trader. He trades his Viagra for Cheney’s Cialis.

8:54 p.m. Car companies have been fat and happy for far too long. They need to get their asses on the ball and figure out ways to make better cars. Or let them go under. I don’t care. Let them all fail. AND DON’T BAIL THEM OUT.

8:55 p.m. OBAMA FTW! Someone finally mentioned making more fuel-efficient cars!!

8:56 p.m. I think McCain just had a stroke. That sentence was like three at once with no verb. WTF is he trying to say? HAHA I love how when he says, “When I’m president…” the moderator says, “Ohh Ok…” the way your mom said she believed you when you told her you discovered a pot of gold when you were 10 years old.

8:57 p.m. If I were going to vote on body language alone tonight, I would be heading for the voting booth in the morning to cast my vote for Obama. McCain looks uncomfortable, nervous, condescending and irritated. And like he has gas. And he’s fuggles. But Obama keeps looking at the camera, connecting with people at home. Why can’t McCain look the TV-viewing audience in the eye?

8:59 p.m. What good is a walk-in clinic if they don’t take your insurance or if you don’t have insurance? Newsflash: walk-in doesn’t mean free, McCain. And as Ian says, “I can totally get a heart transplant for $5,000! Thanks John McCain!”

9 p.m. Who the fuck is Joe??

9:02 p.m. That’s right! Old sickly people can’t GET cheap health insurance! Hell, even young people can’t get health insurance. I tried once and was denied. And I’m not even sick.

9:03 p.m. Ok if it’s true that young people matter the most in these elections, I really want to hear Obama say, “John McCain, your campaign is an EPIC FAIL.” Oh wait, that jumped the shark today didn’t it? God damn you, Slate.

9:04 p.m. PLUMBERS DON’T WORK ON SUNDAY!!!

9:05 p.m. John McCain if you don’t like government, why are you running for it? Shouldn’t you be an anarchist?

9:06 p.m. Wait wait where is John McCain making sense with this health plan? Is he really saying screw the people who need transplants? Can you really get a liver transplant for $5,000? (I’m not asking this because I’m afraid I’m going to need one after this debate.)

9:07 p.m. Why is everyone sucking Joe the Plumber’s dick tonight? When did plumbers become the best way to describe America?

9:10 p.m. Oh Christ “proudly pro-life” and “terribly difficult situation” in the same sentence, McCain? Don’t get me started.

9:12 p.m. Sorry McCain we are not PRO-ABORTION. We are pro-choice. If you get raped and pregnant but still feel like you should keep it, go right ahead. Oh wait, you will NEVER HAVE TO MAKE THAT CHOICE. So how about let’s keep it a CHOICE, asshat.

9:15 p.m. OMG is McCain LAUGHING as Obama tries to talk about abortion issues? Oh wait, he’s smirking. That’s right. Because abortion is something to smirk about.

9:16 p.m. STOP CALLING IT PRO-ABORTION YOU FUCKING IDIOT ELITIST RACIST BIGOTED ASSHOLE

9:18 p.m. I can’t listen to McCain keep saying pro-abortion. He can NEVER know what it would feel like to be in that position. NEVER.

9:20 p.m. Wait did McCain just say education is the civil rights issue of this century? I thought they already de-segregated schools.

9:21 p.m. Wait so he wants to reward teachers, but then let soldiers be teachers without having to take tests and get certified?? Ok, forget the soldiers-without-education-training remark. If we’re going to reward teachers, I think we need higher standards. Ask my sister: She was in a great school for her teaching degree, and right alongside her were DUMBASSES who are teachers today. Why should we reward the stupid, unmotivated teachers? Why shouldn’t we raise the standards?

9:22 p.m. OMG OBAMA YOU JUST SAID WHAT I JUST BLOGGED!! (but more eloquently.) Holy crap. OBAMA FOR PRESIDENT 2008!!!

9:25 p.m. Ya Sarah Palin knows about kids because she has 400 of them. And guess what NOT ONE IS AUTISTIC SO SHUT UP MCCAIN. Does he think Down’s Syndrome is the same as autism? Really??

9:27 p.m. Yes McCain, America needs a new direction. And you are so far behind what this country needs, your only direction is backward. That’s not what we need.

9:30 p.m. Obama is such a better speaker. He is so much more presidential. Even when I was deciding if I should vote for Clinton or Obama, I thought Obama was way more presidential.

Wow. This was a tough election. McCain seemed like he could explode at any time, and his sighing/smirking was worse than Gore’s was back in 2000. I can’t believe how many times McCain said “pro-abortion, too.” I know, I need to let it go already, but for someone who trotted out civil rights in this debate, he needs to get a grip. Don’t say education is the new civil rights movement when you’re trying to take women’s rights away and ensure gay couples never get rights. That is the No. 1 way to piss me off. And a lot of other people, too, I would suspect.

Comments { 11 }

Liveblogging the presidential debate ON ALCOHOL

by on September 26, 2008, in blogging, news/politics

Ok let me preface this by saying Ian and I are sitting at home playing a drinking game with the debate. The words are: Economy, “my friends,” change, terrorists, weapons of mass destruction, Iran. Every time one is said—by either candidate—we take a drink of beer.

Also: I have already drank half a beer on the word “economy” alone.

OK on to the live blogging:

8:06 p.m. Obama in HD is teh sexy. Ian agrees.

8:08 p.m. McCain sounds, in his intro, defeated and tired and almost like he knows he’s been beaten. I’m afraid he’s going to cry at any minute. Obama sounds decisive and ready to bust some balls. Also: did he mean “if” the economy comes back? He corrected himself and says “when,” but I wonder who all caught that.

8:14 p.m. Oh look who decided to let me post, WORDPRESS.

HAHA John McCain said his pen was old. LIKE HIM. Ooooh BURN!

8:15 p.m. I just suggested adding “wall street” and “main street” to our list of drink words, but Ian said no. He thinks if I go through six beers in an hour I’ll die.

Wait wait, earmarks? Porkbarrel spending? God dammit Google, where is that article about how Palin and McCain have asked for more than him? Oh, and the part about how the people contributing the most money to his campaign are lobbyists? Yeah you don’t want to talk about that do you, hamster mouth?

8:18 p.m. Is anyone going to argue here? If I were there right now I’d throw a chair just to get shit going. JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

8:20 p.m. Debate over. Obama wins.

8:20 p.m. Obviously our list of words was off. Does the fact that John McCain hasn’t yet used his “my friends” trademark mean he’s a maverick?

8:19 p.m. Wait who called him “The Sheriff”?

8:19 p.m. FUCK YA OBAMA YOU TELL HIM! CUT HIS BITCH ASS OFF!!

8:20 p.m. Ya cuz Ireland is such a big business draw. I mean, all the HUUUGE companies want to go to Ireland now. Retard.

8:22 p.m. Obama is coming off as really strong, the stronger debater here at least.

I just asked Ian if he’d go gay for Obama (he’s said yes in the past) and all he said was, “He’s no Ed Norton.” (Don’t worry Obama, he totally would.)

8:24 p.m. OMG McCain said FESTOONED! I bet that is a word that is older than him. One of the two things that are older than him.

8:25 p.m. Wait McCain wants a tax code that’s fair? Where’s Laura? Does a fair tax code mean giving tax breaks to the wealthiest peeps?

8:28 Wait the man who owns 12 houses wants to cut spending?

8:34 p.m. Ok I missed a bunch of shit because I had to go get another beer and then I spilled the head on the counter and had to clean it up.

8:35 p.m. Oh Jim, “rule the country”? What is this, England?

8:36 p.m. Ok “slowing down”? I would say the economy is more than slowing down. I think it’s shitting the bed.

8:37 p.m. Wait we send $700 billion a YEAR to other countries that hate us? Rly? Srsly? nooooooo

8:38 pm. ORGY OF SPENDING FTW!! AHAHAHAHA

8:38 p.m. OK McCain stop saying you weren’t elected “Miss Congeniality.” WE KNOW. You suck balls. Oh wait, you have a partner who’s a maverick? By “maverick” you mean someone who doesn’t know what the fuck is going on 1. in the world and 2. in her own house, then yes, you have a maverick.

8:39 p.m. Ian says McCain has “that old man whistle” when he says his S’s.

8:40 p.m. Wait McCain wants to bring our troops home? What happened to 100 years? And not in defeat? I don’t think you can count that clusterfuck as a win. I mean, unless you think Vietnam is a win.

8:41 p.m. True, Obama opposed the “war” in Iraq from the beginning. Not even Hillary can claim that.

8:43 p.m. I don’t trust anyone who speaks with their teeth clenched (coughcoughMcCaincoughcough)

8:45 p.m. SMACK DOWN McCain just tried to cut off Obama and failed. Hahaha DENIED.

8:48 p.m. Just realized McCain doesn’t have a flag pin on his lapel. Stop the debate–there’s a terrorist in the hizouse!! ALERT! ALERT! UNPATRIOTIC OLD DUDE ON DRUGS TRYING TO DEBATE IN PLACE OF JOHN MCCAIN! ALERT!

8:49 p.m. God dammit this debate is BORING. I just told Ian not to fall asleep on me because I didn’t want to be drunk and all pissed off with no one to talk to.

8:50 p.m. Wait Obama wants MORE troops? I thought he wanted to withdraw them?

9:09 p.m. OK wait what are they talking about? Is McCain making up these names or is that how he thinks they’re pronounced? Waaaait he’s talking about how he thought Spain was in Latin America and he dissed the Spanish president a week or so ago right?

9:10 p.m. Why is McCain laughing at Obama? Did he just fart?

9:11 p.m. Oh my bad, that was Ian.

9:12 p.m. The only reason McCain wants a seal is so Sarah Palin can club and BBQ it.

9:14 p.m. OK the list is out the window. I’m two beers down and nicely buzzed. It’s balls-to-the-wall drinking from here on out. I can’t take this debate if my buzz wears off.

9:14 p.m. Time out. From @lauracreekmore (on Twitter): Umm, did Madeleine Albright ever go to N. Korea??? Or did McCain mean to say Condoleezza Rice had been there?

9:19 p.m. Wait, McCain looked into Putin’s eyes? Were they dreamy? Did he see his soul?

9:32 p.m OK I haven’t paid attention to the last 10 minutes of this shit. So boring. I’m calling it now: Obama wins. He is not old, tired, confused and actually knows where he is and what’s going on in the world.

Debate over, as far as I’m concerned.

WAIT. John McCain just said he came home from prison. Like Folsom? HAHAHAHA just kidding I know what he means but I think I should have made “prison” my “drink an entire keg of beer” word.

9:37 p.m. THANK GOD IT’S FINALLY OVER. Most boring debate EVER!

Ian says, “There’s his pillhead wife!” at Cindy “I bought this face!” McCain.

OH BOOYA! NBC news guys corrects McCain on two things: Kennedy was only treated in today, he was RELEASED today—BEFORE THE DEBATE EVEN STARTED! LIAR!

And something about McCain claiming Eisenhower offered to resign about something.

Either way… the fact that they had to correct two erroneous statements RIGHT AFTER THE DEBATE by McCain should say a lot.

Comments { 5 }

In a sense, he really is

by on September 14, 2008, in blogging, computadores, hahahahaha, technology/yes I am a geek

Apparently some people have been finding my blog by searching, “Bill Gates + Idiot.”

This really amuses me.

I mean, I know he’s a smart dude.

But almost everything about Microsoft blows, and Gates’ new commercial with Seinfeld?

That really does make me wonder if he’s an idiot.

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Liveblogging the SOTU

by on January 28, 2008, in blogging, news/politics

I’m starting this a bit late, but so far my main thoughts have been along the lines of “God damn stop standing after every thing he says!!!!”

OK, picking up live now…Ian says, “His daughters are here? It’s like 9 p.m., shouldn’t they be pretty tore up by now?”

8:30 Even Dick Cheney looks like he’s not buying this shit.

8:31 I think Pelosi is falling asleep. And her face looks a bit like skeletor. THIS JUST IN: Ian says she is READING A BOOK! This woman is my new hero. Skeletor or not.

8:32: Oh wait, it might be the program guide. Whatever.

Is Ted Kennedy asleep? His forehead fat almost covers his eyes so I can’t tell.

Yay more clapping at nonsense.

Ooooh here we go: Immigration.”We’ve effectively ended the catch-and-release policy. But we’re just getting started on catch-and-shoot.” Well, that’s what he wanted to say.

8:33 He’s laughing again. Because finding a solution to immigration is HILARIOUS.

8:34 Talking about people in the Middle East being free. Riiiiiiiight. Oh, wait, these “images of liberty have inspired us.” Yeah, inspired us to move our asses to Canada.

8:35 Many of these “grim images” actually didn’t happen this year. But thanks for bringing them up anyway, guy.

8:36 Oh the Penguin is standing now. “We will deliver justice to our enemies.” And by that he means keep them rich and make sure we never shut down their “terrorist operations.” And keep padding the Penguin’s pockets.

8:38 Wait, if Afghanistan is this fantasy land, where all these kids are going to school and life is all rainbows and lollypops like he JUST SAID, then WHY are we sending more troops there?

8:41 OK I don’t even know what he’s talking about here. Honestly, it all just sounds like a pack of lies. Does Bush even know when he’s not bullshitting?

8:48 Sorry I got sidetracked by the PhotoBooth program on my MacBook.

8:49 And by defeated you mean given free reign of our country and private jets to protect said enemy and said enemy’s family, right? Ok, just making sure.

8:50 “We respect your traditions and your history” WE JUST WANT TO BLOW YOUR SHIT UP!!!

8:52 On the home front we will keep doing whatever we can to keep our people safe… Meaning, don’t let the gays marry or women choose what they can and can’t do with their bodies. But make sure the menfolk can carry their guns wherever they want so they can shoot up them illegals.

8:54 Oh god he’s backing the Patriot Act again. I think I just threw up in my mouth.
“If you don’t give me power to keep spying on you, you hate America and want us to get attacked.”

8:55 I think I just saw half of the House give him a Hitler salute.

8:56 $An assload to fight world hunger over the next five years. Yes, we are compassionate. As long as it’s not toward them homersexuals and slutty chicks needing abortions.

8:59 Wait, Bob Dole is going to help people build lives of promise and dignity? Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!

9:00 He is still smirking and laughing. How can anyone take him seriously?? Ok, and tripping over his tongue. He must have just come out of the trance the Penguin put him in and realized he was speaking in front of a large group of sober people.

9:01 The Penguin looks constipated. Pelosi looks like she’s trying not to laugh. Wow those two jumped out of their seats didn’t they? “Fuck yeah, bitches, it’s OVER! Let’s hit the Capitol bar before Jenna and Barbara hog all the good gin!”

Ok he’s walking out and signing autographs, and some chick says, “You make me proud to be an American.” BARF. Because where else can you get tax cuts for driving vehicles the size of a house that get 7 miles to the gallon, get praised for being racist, bigoted and oppressive, and get called un-American for wanting to preserve civil rights? Yeah, proud to be an American my ass.

November can’t come soon enough.

Note: “The Penguin” is how I refer to Dick Cheney. 

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Liveblogging the liveblogging of the MacWorld keynote

by on January 15, 2008, in Apple, blogging, computadores, jump aboard the crazy train, news/politics, technology/yes I am a geek, WTF?

Well, sort of. I was trying to eat lunch and was working, so I didn’t write down my reaction to everything I saw while I was watching the liveblogging of the 2008 MacWorld Stevenote. But I took some notes. While freaking out. Here they are, unedited by the way. So don’t judge me.

Giving up on Twitter
MacRumorsLive.com has best refresh so far
TUAW was ok, but timed out on me at 11:18
Engadget ok but slow updates. They seem to be behind everyone else.
TUAW keeps timing out.
Gizmodo has good pics, and their bloggers are funniest.

2nd thing: iPhone. Damn. Probably not going to be a huge update if he’s doing it now. Come on, 3G!!!!!!!!!

I’m biting my nails off. While I have my Invisalign trays in. This is an amazing feat in itself.

New software for iPhone. Boo. I want my 3G. Or some reason to buy iPhone NOW. Come on, I’m out of contract in like two weeks!

WTF is this Time Capsule? MacRumors says 500GB/1TB Airport Extreme, but Engadget is acting like it’s a new product. WTF?

Multiple SMSs for iPhone. Still not good enough.

Maps w. location, web clips, customize home screen, SMS multiple people. Ok, maybe that SMS multiple people is cool. Though what phone doesn’t already have that? Der.

Come on, MacRumors. Don’t leave me hangin’ like this. UPDATE!!!

Hmmm apparently TUAW has gone text only. Or that’s all that I can see. Better than nothing, I guess. Do these sites not plan for insanely high traffic on MacWorld keynote day?

Can add bookmarks to your home screen on iPhone. Ok, all these little features are starting to add up. Pretty sweet. Maybe I’ll get one…

Added chapter options? WTF is that? [after-show edit: now that TUAW is up I see that means chapter navigation for videos. See, TUAW is better than MacRumorsLive because they actually tell you the whole story.]

Fuck. I guess that’s all the iPhone updates. Son of a b. That was pretty disappointing. :(

5 new apps for iPod touch. Does anyone really care about the iPod Touch? When I worked for Apple, I really had to fake my enthusiasm for it. Don’t worry, I was good at it.

Ok, third thing: iTunes.

MacRumorsLive.com is really the only site that has not crashed on me this morning. I think they will be my go-to site for keynotes from now on. I like their layout, too, even if they don’t have snarky bloggers updating for them.

Oh what do you know, TUAW is back in the land of today’s Web pages. With graphics, ads and all that. Yay.

Engadget and Gizmodo seem to be lagging.

iTUNES MOVIE RENTALS.

Great, now i HAVE to get an Apple TV. Ian is going to be pissed.

Library titles: $2.99, new releases: $3.99
30 days to start watching, 24 hours to finish. Hmm can you watch more than once?

TUAW reporting a baby crying. WTF? How does A BABY get in? Jesus Christ in a sidecar.

Hmm can transfer movies to iPod. Must try out on new Nano.

Ooh Apple TV take 2. No computer required. Nice. When Ian buys new TV, I might have to buy an AppleTV. Maybe.

OMG photos from Flickr and .Mac. Ok, I really think I want one of these.

Synching with iTunes. But couldn’t you do that before?

AppleTV really is an elusive beast.

Wait, HD rentals are $4.99. How much are they to buy? I really don’t get why you’d rent a movie if you could buy it for just twice the price. I was hoping they’d have a Netflix-like model. Except they wouldn’t suck major ass like Netflix does.

Ok so far this keynote is pretty lame. I’m holding out for a new, tinier MacBook or a 3G iPhone. please let it be the iPhone. God knows I don’t need another computer. But I will have to buy it if it’s t-tiny!!

TUAW has crapped out again.

Still demoing the movie rentals. GAH move on to something more interesting to MEEEEEE

Ok, no updates from any sites for a few mins… what’s going on guys??

Photo screen savers can be grabbed from .Mac web gallery. Greaaaaaaaat. Ugh.

TUAW totally fucked. Page doesn’t move when I scroll in browser.

Haha, “Please try back soon!” message from TUAW. Um, no.

Ok, music can be bought from within AppleTV. I think apple is trying to force me to organize all my music and photos. I really need to pare down the number of computers I actively use on a regular basis. Four is not really good for organization.

Ooh, AppleTV price drop. $299 to $229. Ok, maybe I will get one after all. but not til Ian gets a new TV. I heard it looks crappy on regular TV (from someone with the same Sony Vega as we have.)

Some assbag from Fox is apparently taking the stage. Outlook=not good for my new iPhone.

Renting music videos? Who the fuck does that?

Someone saying something about Blu-Ray. But isn’t that HD’s competitor? Those two confuse me.

MACBOOK AIR!!!!!!

Holy shit the name was true. What does it all mean? Like Air Jordans?

Oh, the world’s thinnest notebook. Thin, schmin. Give me teeeeny!! 10 inches!

13.3 inch display.

Boo. I am saddened deeply. Although somewhat relieved, because I can’t really afford a new computer right now. And I would have to buy one if it was 10 inches.

Oh, MacBook-like keyboard. Well that is the dealbreaker. I HATE the keyboard on my MacBook. HATE IT. I wish they would bring back the iBook keyboard. I love that keyboard more than my Powerbook. I’m actually selling the iBook to my sister, but had second thoughts JUST BECAUSE OF THE KEYBOARD. Seriously.

First thought when seeing how thin: You could totally sit on that and break it in half with your ass.

1.6 GHz Standard, 1.8 GHz Option — Intel Core 2 Duo
80 GB hard disk standard, 64 GB SSD as an option.

Apple apparently asked Intel to shrink the Core Duo. That’s right, bitches. Bow to Apple.

Oooh black keyboard. Ok, maybe I will get one. eventually.

Silver w/ black keyboard. hmmm looks kind of PC-ish in that photo. :(

Fuck that thing is thin! I mean anorexic thin.

Come on, one more thing!!!! Come on, 3G iPhone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have to pee so bad but don’t want to walk away. God dammit I am a nerd.

Wait. Fuck–NO CD/DVD DRIVE!!! WTF??? Omg, seriously? Holy shit. Holy holy shit. I mean, I don’t really use mine that much, but this could never be a main computer. How would you rip your music CDs onto it? Or anything else?

Oh, you can buy a separate SuperDrive made especially for MacBook Air. For $99. Weak.

2GB RAM is standard. That’s cool. 5 hours battery life. Also cool.

Holy shit. $1,799. Not cool.

Ok, please let there be a one more thing. I am saddened overall by this keynote.

Haha, environmental highlights. Go Al Gore!

Yeah, yeah, you did a lot in the first two weeks of 2008. Now GIVE ME MORE!

Uh oh, Randy Newman taking the stage. I guess there isn’t any one more thing. :’(

I wonder if they [Apple] were aware of how disappointing this keynote was going to be.

Ok, I’m still holding out… maybe one more announcement after Randy Fucking Newman finishes whatever bullshit he’s playing…

Please tell me I didn’t waste my lunch break watching this.

OMG up-close shot from MacRumors of Randy Newman. Y’all have to warn us before throwing that shit up there! He looks like a Chester the Molester for chrissakes!!

Apparently Newman is singing a song about America and the president and comparing them to Hitler and Stalin. Well isn’t that cute. I mean, I don’t disagree, per say, but damn.

ok apparently newman’s going a bit crazy on stage

boo, it’s over. no one more thing. going to cry now.

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What kind of a sick joke is Google playing on these people?

by on October 11, 2007, in blogging, hahahahaha, quandaries, WTF?

Under “incoming links,” WordPress is telling me that something called Google Alerts – Church links to my blog quite often.

I hope no one from whatever that is actually clicks through to my blog, because they’re going to be sadly disappointed (and maybe offended?) when they realize I mostly lambaste church.

And by church, I mean Christianity.

Sorry, wrong number.

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Interview!

by on August 8, 2007, in blogging, life etc., memes, music is like air, but for my ears, video games

In this meme, Laura was kind enough to interview me—again (She’s my boss, so technically this is the second time she’s interviewed me.) I think she probably knows way more about me than she ever wanted to, but here goes:

It starts like this:
Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.” I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions. If you don’t have a valid email address on your blog, please provide one. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Here are my questions from Laura:

1. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up, and why?
Up until the fourth grade, I wanted to be a veterinarian. I’m sure every kid wants to one that until they realize they’d actually have to cut on animals, and I’m no exception. I also had a secret dream of being a video game tester, but figured out pretty early on that if I made video-game testing a career I would probably get burnt out. But honestly, for as long as I can remember thinking about a serious career, I’ve wanted to be a writer in some form or fashion. I’ve always just wanted to write. So, you know, score one for me.

2. Tell us about your favorite trip ever.
Hands down it’s the time I spent in Spain. I was in Madrid and Segovia for the summer of 2003 to study, and I lived with a family the whole time (well, except for the first week, which was spent in a dormitory in Madrid). Let me tell you, I worked my ass off to be able to go (worked 80 hours a week Monday thru Friday for the six months preceding the trip to be able to afford tuition plus pay my bills while I was gone), and I know that helped me appreciate it more. Way more than some of the spoiled-ass hoes that were in the program with me. (There were about five cool people there. The rest were tools. Stupid Americans. My roommate and I made the best decision of the whole trip when we chose to separate ourselves from most of the group.)

I had so much fun, living and learning there and speaking only in Spanish as much as I could—my language comprehension and speaking skills improved 100-fold while I was there. I was lucky that my roommate wanted to speak as much Spanish as possible—and also that when she was in high school she had a foreign exchange student in her class from Madrid. We hung out with Josú quite a lot while we were in Spain and got a lot of the true native experience. We did not travel like tourists.

This trip came at such an important time in my personal life, and I got to experience so many different and exciting things there. It was such a freeing, life-changing experience. I soaked up every bit of it, and to this day I can remember how it smelled. It was a time of recovery, and my memories of it are so dear to me.

3. If you could only pick one, music or books, for the rest of your life, which would it be?
Gah, that’s a hard one. But I’m going to have to say music. I couldn’t live without it. I associate so many times in my life with certain songs or types of music, and at times it’s been the only thing to keep me going. Good music is more important to me than good food.

4. Favorite video game ever, and why.
Oh my god. I can’t believe you asked me this. It’s like asking a parent to choose a favorite child. I’m going to cheat a little and pick two. My favorite game for nostalgic reasons is The Legend of Zelda. So much of my elementary-aged soul went into this game, and I swear I still have dreams set to the music. Anyone who played this as a child, I dare you to deny the same is true for you.

My favorite adult game is probably Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, even though I’ve never finished it. But in my defense, it is really fucking long. It’s basically endless. But it’s so free in regards to what you can do in the game, and I love the atmosphere and graphics in the game. It appeals to my inner elf/fairy/druid/dragon warrior. (God damn I’m a geek.)

5. If my friends could see me now…..would your high-school teachers be surprised to see you today? Why or why not
I think my high school teachers would think two things: “I knew she would be doing well” and “She’s not in therapy?”

My relationship with my dad had totally fallen apart by the time high school rolled around, and there were two teachers who really kept me together by acting like therapists way more than they ever had to. They recognized that getting out of my house and moving far away was the key to my survival, and I don’t know that I would have made it out alive without their support. Most of the time they just listened and offered kind words of encouragement, but in a time where I was being beaten down (both physically and emotionally) at every turn, they kept me believing that I could get through it all.

I think they knew me pretty well, and knew that I would flourish once I moved out on my own.

Ok, who’s next?!

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