Life on crutches

Spoiler alert: It sucks. Actually, that’s probably not much of a spoiler alert since it seems as though most people I talk to have been on them at some point in their life already. I guess it’s a testament to my luck that this is the first time I’ve broken a bone. (We’re not counting the toe I likely broke when I drunkenly slammed it into a table leg several years ago.)

I’m extremely lucky that I work from home, so my day-to-day hasn’t been inconvenienced in a way that affects my job performance or ability to get to and from work.

But everything else has been affected, and a lot of things I used to barely think about doing are now incredibly inconvenient. I can’t get into or out of the shower on my own, I have to use a chair once I’m in there, and it takes forever to get dressed. I shower at night now because I don’t want to have to get up a couple hours earlier in the morning—and I don’t even dry my hair anymore. Since I broke my ankle four weeks ago, I think I’ve put product in and dried my hair twice.

Things like forgetting a piece of clothing in another room turn into a logistical nightmare. There is no more quickly getting up and grabbing something I forgot somewhere. I’m fairly quick on the crutches now, but I can’t carry anything unless it can be held in my hand along with the crutch grip. I drink all of my water out of Nalgene bottles that have a loop attached to their caps. My snacking has been cut down considerably because if I can’t fit it in my pocket, I’m not able to carry it back to my desk. I plan out my trips to the bathroom to maximize my time being upright—I’m constantly scanning rooms and making mental notes of things I need to move or bring back with me before I sit down again.

I’m incredibly lucky that Ian has been able to help me with literally everything, though. Since this happened, he’s been cooking every meal and bringing it to me on the couch. He comes home at lunch to let the dogs out/in (I can do this now, but if it’s wet outside I’m unable to wipe their feet down), fix me lunch and carry it over to my desk for me to eat it. He’s been walking the dogs, cleaning the house (I did manage to clean the kitchen and the bathrooms at one point, but I paid for it with foot swelling and ankle pain later), carrying my foot-elevating pillows from the bed to the couch and back again every day, and moving stuff around the house that I can’t carry, which is almost everything.

When I do have to leave the house, he has to help me down our steep staircase in front of the house. He takes my right crutch and I hold onto him and the left crutch as I try to put the least amount of weight on my right foot for each step down. We repeat the process for getting back into the house.

My insurance finally approved a monthly rental of a knee scooter, but it’s not as big of a help as I thought it would be. It’s got a basket on the front, which helps me carry small things to and fro, but it’s cumbersome to move in small spaces and I keep running over my left foot when I try to back it up to navigate around things.

I tried putting some weight on my foot while in the boot this weekend and it was slightly liberating—but now my ankle hurts worse than it has for a week or two. So now I’m back to taking it easy and not pushing things. The pain isn’t always terrible, but I’m not a huge fan of pain killers and have been trying to not take them unless I think I won’t be able to sleep because it hurts too much. (For reference, I just finished the bottle of 20 that I was prescribed in the ER the night I broke my ankle. It was meant to last three or four days.) I really hope when everything is healed I don’t have lasting issues from this, but the more people I talk to the more worried about that I get.

I’ve never been good at waiting, but that’s all I can do now. I feel a little relief that this happened in the middle of winter and not right as the weather was changing to lovely spring days, because I’d likely be spending most of my time indoors anyway. It’s been chilly and rainy most days, and the dogs have been mostly content to sit on the couch and chill. We did start sending Stella to camp twice a week instead of once so that she doesn’t get too bored (or fat) from not leaving the house as much as she’s used to, but Star Fox has been more than happy to stay inside with me so I don’t feel too guilty.

I miss being able to do a lot of things, but most of all I’ll be glad when I can walk the dogs again. That’s probably what I miss the most.

It's a wild Saturday night at my house.

2016: What the hell was that?

It’s a universal truth that 2016 can be described as a dumpster fire of bullshit, but it will go down in my personal history as the first year I’ve ever completed a Project 365. Well, 347 out of 365 ain’t bad, right?

Despite not having 365 photos in the set, I’m counting the project as complete. I set a reminder for myself every day at 5 p.m., and that seemed to be the key to me taking a picture. There were a few days (18, actually) where I apparently forgot completely, and instead of going back and trying to fudge something for the day I’m just going to leave it. It’s 95 percent complete. Hooray!

That whole set can be found here, by the way.

The year wasn’t all bad, though it wasn’t all good, either. Let’s recap!

January
Jan. 2: Hiking with my fluffy-assed companion. #project365
We hiked a lot with Stella, and I decided that cold-weather hiking is my favorite hiking. There tend to be fewer people on the trails, and you don’t tend to get nearly as sweaty. The month ended pretty warmly, but winter reared its head again soon enough.

February
Feb. 9: We woke up and it was snowing! #project365
Winter showed up with snow, but it was a relatively weak showing as compared to the year before. Still, Stella was happy to eat snowflakes. Ian and I took a trip to Biloxi and found it to be a pretty shitty town with even shittier beaches, although the Beau Rivage was a really nice casino. Luckily it was just a short weekend trip and we didn’t waste any more time there.

March
March 21: My forsythia is blooming! It's kinda weak, but it's something. #project365
March was pretty warm, and we did some work in our yard. Other than that, it looks like we mainly hung out at home with the animals (besides my monthly trip to the Raven offices). Oh! There was a marathon in town and to show our solidarity, we walked to brunch and then all over downtown to drink. I don’t remember much of the end of that day, but I know it was fun.

April
April 11: Chicago was windy af today. #project365
In April I got sick but then better, and we traveled to Chicago to visit my mom and sisters—and my sister’s new super-cute baby! Ian drove up with Stella and I, but then took a flight back home. I stayed a bit longer and worked from my mom’s house (and visited the North Shore Distillery, home of my favorite gin!), and then Stella and I drove back together like the traveling companions we are.

We also took Stella camping for the first time, and she did really well. She sorta-barked only once at something outside the tent; otherwise she slept on my leg the whole night (Ian was relegated to the twin-sized air mattress we’d bought for Stella to use, ha!).

We also hosted our first beer-tasting event with friends on April 30, which was a huge success. The hangover the next day was totally worth all of the great beers we got to try.

May
May 10: This broad was a perfect travel companion over the past couple days. We explored Athens, Ga., patio-by-patio and loved it! #project365
The month started with mourning Gordo being gone for a year on May 4.

A bright spot of the month was when Stella and I traveled to Athens, Ga., for two days to hang out, work and explore the city. I decided it was about time to embrace the benefits of working remotely, and had heard Athens was a dog-friendly city. We rented a small AirBnB near downtown and spent our days working from patios of bars and coffee shops. It got a bit warm, but luckily it was relatively easy to find shade. I was already used to taking Stella around with me in Chattanooga, so I was prepared with plenty of water, snacks and poop bags. It was a fun couple of days, and I was able to get a lot of work done thanks to Stella being happy to chill next to me for the day after our mile or so walk from where we were staying.

The end of the month was capped off by launching a huge project I’d been working on with a team of co-workers for several months. It was a satisfying conclusion to something several people had worked incredibly hard on for quite some time.

June
June 11: The arcade/pinball expo was a dang good time. #project365
June was likely the most exciting month of the year for us, starting off with getting Stella’s DNA test results back, which were a mix of surprising and why-didn’t-we-see-that obvious breeds.

Then Ian and I traveled to Atlanta for the Southern Fried Gameroom Expo, a two-day pinball and arcade machine convention. Friday night was lighter on people so it was more fun; the lines to play pretty much any game by Saturday afternoon were incredibly long. There was also an issue where a session that consisted of playing the game Quiplash! (which I was very familiar with thanks to months of playing it at Raven on Friday afternoons) got incredibly sexist and misogynistic, and I had to leave the room. It was disappointing, and my feedback to the convention’s organizers went unanswered, so I don’t think I’ll be returning.

June 25: At the top of Sandia Mountain. Where it's harder to breathe but the alcohol works faster. #project365
Later in June we took our yearly “big” vacation. We’d originally thought about going to Canada, but after reading that June is the rainiest time of year there we decided to head to New Mexico instead. And it was amazing! We spent a couple days in Albuquerque, which has an awesome craft beer scene, and then took a train to Sante Fe for a couple days for more sightseeing, brewery-hopping and an incredible visit to Meow Wolf. We came back to Albuquerque and did some hiking just outside the city, both in the Sandia Mountains and at Bandolier National Monument (which was breathtaking). I also met up with my friend Molly, who I hadn’t seen since high school, at Santa Fe Brewing Company in Albuquerque. She and a friend of hers gave us all kinds of advice on cool shit to do while we were in town, and they did not disappoint. People kept asking us why we picked Albuquerque for a vacation and seemed incredulous that we’d visit somewhere just because they had cool scenery and a lot of beer. But why else would you go anywhere?!

While in New Mexico, I had a beer-drinking contest with a friend/co-worker who was on his own vacation in Denver at the same time. The contest was to see who could drink the most unique beers while in our respective cities, and we had to drink at least four ounces of a beer for it to count as an entry. I beat him handily at 102 beers to 69. (He’ll put an asterisk next to my win since I had an extra two days, but he agreed to this as we were negotiating the rules so SUUUUCK IIIIIT.)

July
July 16: Quality time with the niece today. #project365

July was kind of a shit-show. Ian and I were both sick at the start of it, though the month improved with a trip Stella and I took to Chicago to visit with family again. My two sisters and I got matching tattoos, and for once I’m really happy with a tattoo.

But the month ended with me (and about 80 percent of my co-workers) getting laid off—the first time I’d been laid off in my two decades of working full time. It wasn’t exactly a shock; I’d seen the writing on the wall for a while. I mainly was just sad that my time with the company and my co-workers had come to an end. It was the first job I’d had where I really felt like I fit in, and I was bummed that my time there was over.

August
Aug. 13: It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. #project365
I decided to give myself a couple of weeks to decompress and spent a lot of time walking Stella around town or in the neighborhood. I also started volunteering at the animal shelter in my neighborhood, figuring it was a good time since I was too broke to adopt any new animals that tugged at my heartstrings.

I went to a Railsbridge event sponsored by Code XX, the women’s coding group here in Chattanooga, where I learned enough about Ruby on Rails to inspire me to continue my study of JavaScript.

I took advantage of having dental insurance for another month and got a much-needed crown put on, too. That wasn’t fun, or cheap, but I was glad to get it done while I still could.

I also started working with a career counselor and completely revamped my resume for the first time in years. I realized I didn’t want to leave tech and began a job search—I also started trying to draw unemployment and realized what a racket that whole thing is.

September
Sept. 13: BFF naptime on my desk. #project365
I took Stella on more walks, hung out with the cats, and cooked a bunch of meals. I realized that cooking was a stress-reliever for me, and a good way to feel useful since I still didn’t have a full-time job. I did do some digital media consulting work for a former employer, which was a fun experience. I learned a lot about freelancing—and myself. I can see myself consulting again on a project-by-project basis, but I don’t think I could make a whole career out of freelancing. I appreciate a steady income and routine—and health insurance—way too much.

October
Oct. 16: Toronto you have a lot of dogs and that's super cool but so far your people are kinda rude. #project365
This month was one of the best of the year. We started it off with a camping trip to the Chilhowee Recreation Area, and then we headed to Murfreesboro for an Oktoberfest celebration at the famed Green Dragon bar. Unfortunately the bar itself was closed due to the festival, so I still wasn’t able to go inside and experience it in all its hobbit and dragon glory. One day.

In the middle of the month I went to Toronto with two friends/former co-workers to attend Full Stack Toronto, a development/UI/project management conference that we were planning on attending back when we were all at Raven still. We attended sessions during the mornings and early afternoons and then explored the gorgeous-yet-rainy city of Toronto.

Oh, and Stella turned three!

At the end of the month I started my new job as a quality engineer at Emma, Inc.! They’re based in Nashville but are remote-friendly, and there were already two other folks on the engineering team living in Chattanooga. Emma is known around Nashville (and beyond) as being an incredibly smart and fun company to work at, and my experience so far has exceeded my expectations. It was a strong way to finish out an already great month, and left me feeling energized and ready for what was to come.

November
Nov. 9: I can't believe what happened last night. Still. #project365 #imwithher
Despite such a great month before, November sort of descended into madness with the election turning out worse than I think everyone expected. We hosted some friends at our house for Election Night, and an evening that started out jovial and hopeful ended in sadness and incredulity. I’m still not sure I believe the country will survive the next four years, but a small positive is that—prompted by not knowing how to live in a country that so obviously does not care about the rights, health and safety of women or minorities—I finally started seeing a therapist again.

After my initial couple weeks of despair, I left Facebook (yeah yeah, I’d return in December) and started focusing on things that made me happy and feel good, like hanging up “mental health” lights in my house and walking shelter dogs and learning to code. I went into the end of the year feeling nervous, but ready to take action.

December
Dec. 13: Old Broads Club. #project365
December started off good but stressful. I accidentally fell in love with, and then we adopted, a 13-year-old dog that I’d walked at HES one day. And then I had to head to Nashville for a week at my new job, leaving Ian home to handle all that goes along with bringing a new dog into a house that already has one dog and three cats. (Sorry about that again, guy.)

But by the middle of the month Star Fox was fitting in nicely, Stella’s emo-ness was subsiding and all of the cats (even King Boo) had gotten fairly used to her.

We were planning on renting a car and driving to Chicago for the holidays, since it had been about five years or so since I’d been home at Christmas. Our plans were set, presents were bought, car was rented. And then, two days before we were supposed to leave, I slipped off our back deck and broke my right ankle (officially I broke off the bottom of my lateral malleolus—into several pieces—and sprained the entire ankle) and royally beat up my left knee.

Dec. 27: Today is one week since I broke my ankle, and I had my follow-up with an orthopedic doctor. It's hard to believe that some small, broken, floating around bone fragments are what's causing me so much pain. #project365

I’d never broken a bone before, but the pain was so bad that I couldn’t get up for fear of passing out or vomiting. Within minutes my entire ankle was swollen to the size of a fist, and Ian took me to the ER. I suppose I should be proud of making it to 37 before breaking a bone (not counting the pinky toe I likely broke when I smashed it into the coffee table one drunk evening years ago), but it sucked. It still sucks. I likely won’t be off crutches until mid to late February, and based on the little range of motion I have after three weeks I’m guessing I’ll need physical therapy, too.

Before breaking my ankle, I had been hesitant to talk too much shit about 2016 as a whole. Sure, a lot of people had died and we elected a literal dumpster fire to lead the country, but I wasn’t taking it personally. Until that night. Narcissistic or not, on that night I decided 2016 could go fuck itself.

So here’s to 2017. Here’s to the country surviving, to famous people not dying in droves, and to my ankle healing up nicely. Here’s to a relatively safe, happy and healthy year for myself and my family, and for you and yours.