I am thankful for a lot this year, and well-cooked turkey is just one of many things I am not taking for granted. I am reminded daily that I live a lucky life, and while I can bitch with the bitchiest of them, I am generally aware of the goodness that surrounds me. But in the spirit of the season, here’s a short list of things I’m thankful for lately:
- warmth provided by fat, fluffy cats
- my job
- family; my own and the one I have been inheriting for years
- friends who put up with me even though I am not ready to have babies or coo at theirs as much as they would probably like
- the music that keeps me going
- co-workers that cry, laugh and drink with me
- Summer, who has patiently listened to more of my selfish and frantic boo-hooing lately than any one person should have to
- our house, and, well, the fact that we have one. Even though we are slowly outgrowing it and the carpet downstairs is looking rough, in a time where plenty of people are losing their homes, I am thankful that we have this one. It’s ours, and I don’t fear right now that anyone is going to take it from us.
- Mac OS and my iPhone
- my desire to keep learning new things, start new projects and never be satisfied with being “done”
(I think I’m starting to use my iPhone+Flickr more as a blog than my actual blog itself.)
Ian turns 30 on Wednesday, but I couldn’t wait that long to give him his present (mainly because I couldn’t get it in the house and hide it from him). The guitar is revised and is taking a little effort to get used to the changes, but the song list is SO MUCH MORE AWESOME than in the previous games. Well, for me at least.
There’s been a lot going on lately, but it’s not really anything I feel like I can blog about. I hate that feeling, but I would hate the consequences of not censoring myself more, so for once in my life I’m shutting my mouth.
The last week has been painful, but I know it could have been way more painful, and I am hoping the pain is paving the way to something healthier. All I can say is thank the little baby Jebus Claus for Ian and my cats. They’ve listened to a lot of crying and kvetching out of me lately and have been great comforters. (See also: alcohol.)
I always hate reading cryptic shit on other people’s blogs, so I apologize if I’m pissing you off here. Normal crabby-about-the-world posting should resume shortly.
This post is for me.
This post is a reminder, a hug and a kick in the ass.
This post is sad, confusing and unfair.
But this post is also encouragement, understanding and ambition.
This post is luck, gratitude and pressing forward renewed.
This post is for me, and it will be ok.
I can feel the cool air sifting through my skin as I pull on my heavy knit coat before I walk out the front door
I can feel the crispness of the season breaking under my feet and the crunch of leaves turning to cracks in ice just waiting for me to slip
This is the time of year when everything begins to freeze and in the stillness I catch things that live outside my frame of sight in warmer, more flexible air
This is the time of year when I used to retreat.
Yesterday I bundled myself into the corner of the couch, in the corner of my house, in the corner of my town, in the middle of my state, in the middle of my fucked up country
And I could feel a difference
I felt more full than i have in years
I can feel it coming, I can feel the change
I am on the brink
I am almost proud of my country
And I hope it doesn’t let me down tomorrow.